So i've decided to blog the tar out of my life. I was all ready to resist the whole blog thing, but then something came along that changed everything. Lovely, isn't it? wait till i get started. first of all, welcome to the good ship. this is in reference to the way i have recently begun to refer to things i really don't like, but prefer to criticize in a snide sort of way. this finds usage in such terms as, the good ship walmart, which happens to be the subject of this post.
so, i'm at walmart, waiting for a prescription to be filled, which was only supposed to take a half hour. well, it took much longer, and so i bought a mcflurry, played samples of the most obnoxious metal cds i could find in the music department, and read snippets from a book that was supposed to unmask all the fallacious material in the Da Vinci Code. for those of you that have suddenly gone, "whoa, this guy can use capitals, however improperly," i refer you to the fact that walmart doesn't have any. i checked back at the desk, but of course the prescription wasn't filled.
next i wandered around, looked at music magazines that don't know anything about music (really, who would trust anything titled Hit Parader to accurately chonicle what good music is doing these days), tapped my empty mcflurry cup on everything i could, and thought about how hypocritical i was for having patronized mcdonald's after having just given a class presentation summing up with encouragement to think about what our fast food purchases do to the environment.
finally, i got my prescription, and left the store to find that, no, the sun hadn't gone down yet, and no, the planet hadn't been invaded by brain-sucking aliens. yet. still, i thought my clock was broken when it read 3:10, and i realized that walmart had sucked my afternoon drier than a stale saltine cracker. so here's to sam walton, for wasting my life and yours inside his infernal store.
in other news, walmart is taking over the world. walmart stores have actually been mistaken for alien spaceships. only by me, actually, but i am sure there are other closet believers.think about it though: where else do artificial lighting and endless corridors occur in such high frequency?
About Me
- oh! resolution
- "You might do it well one time and try another time and crash and die."
3 comments:
excellent point, my poetic friend. on the other hand (i'm speaking for capitalist america here) where else are you going to find such incredibly inexpensive, totally unnecessary stuff? come on, an ionic blowdryer for only $9.99? that's like, five pounds sterling...
i would also like to point out that the song "good ship lollipop" has been running through my head since happening upon your url. let's just say you owe me at least another big cup of trail mix for having done this to my brain over vacation.
Brilliant. And note that Miss K feels comfortable enough to show off her "I was in London this summer" vocab. Next april: how the men got sucked into blogging and what this will do to the balance of april. (Solution: we'll have to invite guitar-playing goats to maintain the delicate balance we've subjected ourselves to. And no, that didn't make any sense to me either. Happy day-after.)
Post a Comment