as promised

here it is. bad, yes, terribly bad. but amusing, yes again, most likely. as for how many commas i can cram into very short sentence fragments, i am tired of trying. ask the ann doty contest people whether they still feel good giving me that award after they read this. composed in a fit of passion, a violent spasm, i make no apologies (except the ones i already have) for its grace (or lack thereof) and so here it is. thanks to trent for the inspiration. i expect this one will get me the nobel prize, for, you know, glorification of the mongoose, or something.

The Mongoose Dance or
Wikki Tikki Tavi Shakes His Wittle Ass

I stood behind a table and saw you,
Ass up in the air, shaking with rage.
I see no snake, no writhing, no venom
But your own spittle flying from sharp-
Edged little incisors, paws
Hugged to your furry chest, nails bitten ragged,
Ragged, ragged. and then your legs pushed against the floor,
Hindquarters jumping, jumping
And i thought of what turned you on.
My own presence, un-nibbled nails,
Meticulous use of communal grooming,
Me and my own un-bouncing behind.
I need to get ahold of myself, find a way to
Scare off my own set of hooded cobra
Eyes, false signals of alarm. Two black dots rise up,
Threatening, dart at me with frightening speed.
But I don’t move. I trust in my mongoose.
I realize I’ve been hedging, keeping you from
Truth. But can I help if saw your animal instinct
Rise and give me proof,
Undisputable, that you were a werewolf indeed in your
Youth? Age has turned you into a wiser creature,
One that trembles with shame at my indifference, my
Callous behaviour: I took a short video of your dance,
Spread it over the internet, claimed the dance was my
Own invention. The choreographer gets the glory;
Brittney learned that the hard way. Still,
Covetous of your moves, knowing that a video won’t elec-
Trify me like your presence will, I have to ask:
Can you do that for me?
Can you shake that ass?
Can you teach me how to dust off the grass
Clippings from the seat of my pants?
Can you do that for me?

well, there it is. go on. indulge yourself. read it again. you know you want to.